Sunday, November 22, 2009


In Candy - A Novel of Love and Addiction, author Luke Davies says (through the fictional unnamed narrator, who is played by Heath Ledger in the film--and named Dan) that for every 10 years you're a junkie, 7 of them will be spent waiting.

How true, Luke. It's so easy to tell when an actual junkie has written a heroin book. They get right to the heart of the matter. Waiting. Waiting defines a junkie's life.

And besides recommending both the novel and film versions of this amazing story for their enjoyability, emotion (yes, even I like a little feeling now and then), and realism, I do know something about waiting.

It's been two weeks since my agent (the amazing Adam "Snapper"* Chromy, of Artists and Artisans) started submitting the proposal for Bible Camp Zombies, and I am going CRAZY. I know it's pretty unrealistic to think that a debut author will sell in two weeks, but I can't help myself. It's like I'm querying again. I check my email every couple of hours or so (even though I'm sure Adam would call me if he heard something), read everything I can about the publishing process, and generally annoy the crap out of my fiance, with questions like, "So, do you think there's an editor reading it right now? Do you think this fictional editor I made up in my mind likes it?" It's a wonder she hasn't stabbed me with the pieces of my broken laptop.

There is very little posted on the internet about this part of the publishing process. Probably because waiting is extremely boring. A very good friend (and my writing buddy/partner/whatever you want to call her - she's the one who tells me when what I've written sucks) sent me a link to another agent's blog (who shall remain nameless, as he gave a few of my friends form rejections**) about this, and there were hundreds of comments on what to do while waiting. 99.9% of them were completely useless. The .01% that were useful, were only useful to other people. I really don't think baking will help. Maybe eating baked goods. But that would require money on my part, since I don't bake. And I have to sell my project to get that.

Oh what a vicious circle. You were right, Abrasive Wheels***. You were right!

So, if any of you editors are reading this (and I don't delude myself that you actually are), hi! I'm really awesome and will make you tons of money. Just buy the project. You know you want to! Come on... all the cool editors are doing it. Tell you what - the first one's free****.

Now that that's over with - I'm going to be starting my next book soon. Fun, huh? Maybe I'll have a contest to have you guys help pick which one I'll do. (I have a vast list of ideas.) Or maybe I'll just see what you think and then do whatever I want anyhow. Whichever. I'll let you know.

For now, this is Richard A. Kray, saying...
Seacrest Out!

* I have no idea why his nickname is "Snapper". I haven't even speculated. Feel free to come to your own conclusions.

** Just kidding. It's Nathan Bransford. Here's a link: Nathan Bransford's blog (And I understand the form rejections - this guy gets more queries than... apparently I can't make analogies outside of MSWord, sorry, but it's a lot of queries.)

*** A prize to anyone who tells me what Abrasive Wheels is.

**** No it's not.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The sappy baby post

So, my son - Jack Sawyer Kray - was born on 11/11/09 at 9:07pm and he is already the coolest thing I've ever seen. Everyone tells you it's better than you'd ever imagine, and you believe them - but you still aren't ready for how overwhelmingly wonderful having a baby is.

In short, holy crap.

Jack was 8lb 13oz at birth, and 20". He has his father's eyebrows and eyes and his mother's nose and mouth. He enjoys holding the fingers of his various grandparents, making faces that make him look like he is constantly pooping, constantly pooping, being burped by Daddy, sleeping on Mommy, and playing drums in his black metal band, Soul Consumption. His dislikes include: Doctors wielding ginormous circumcision knives, nurses with cold hands, when Mommy and Daddy aren't around, Republicans, and cold bottles.

What an amazing little man.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Jack Sawyer Kray

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been busier than I've ever been in my life lately. Besides the full time job of waiting on my baby to be born and taking care of Katelyn (my fiance, whose lovely countenance you may freely look upon, just swing your eyes over to the right and there's a picture of us there), I've been editing and writing and writing and editing. And sometimes I go to my job too.

So, in the interest of brevity, I'll make a list of updates on my life, for those (all two or so) of you who care.

Jack Sawyer Kray has apparently decided that being born isn't really for him, and he is now 5 days over-due. If he isn't born today, we go to the hospital tomorrow so Katelyn's labor can be induced. After that I will be living in a world of hand-holding and abuse-taking until he's born and my life becomes better than I can even imagine right now. It's very weird how I'm totally in love with a little guy who hasn't even been born yet. Like I said, I can only imagine how I'll feel once I've met him.

Adam, my agent, and I have finally finished up the partials and proposal for the zombie books. The titles we are selling with are Bible Camp Zombies: A Love Story, and Bible Camp Zombies: The Hunger. (I know The Hunger isn't very good, and I encourage you to let me know if you have a better idea.) It's currently with one editor and he's making a list of the other editors he'll be sending it off to. Hopefully it's a quick sale for lots and lots and lots of money.

Unfortunately, Katelyn's grandfather, one of the greatest men I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, passed away two days ago. Jack's namesake, Jack Mulhall will be missed by thousands of people. I'm literally in awe of all the good he's done in his life and I can't think of a better person to name our first son for.

So that's my life in a nutshell for you guys. I'll be posting a little more frequently and I'll bring the funny in these following posts so that my blog is back to the laugh-o-rama you are used to. (Or if not laugh-o-rama, at least a little "heh" every now and then.)

Email me if you want updates on the baby, which, as a proud father, I am only too happy to give, or if you have title ideas for me!