Waiting

In Candy - A Novel of Love and Addiction, author Luke Davies says (through the fictional unnamed narrator, who is played by Heath Ledger in the film--and named Dan) that for every 10 years you're a junkie, 7 of them will be spent waiting.

How true, Luke. It's so easy to tell when an actual junkie has written a heroin book. They get right to the heart of the matter. Waiting. Waiting defines a junkie's life.

And besides recommending both the novel and film versions of this amazing story for their enjoyability, emotion (yes, even I like a little feeling now and then), and realism, I do know something about waiting.

It's been two weeks since my agent (the amazing Adam "Snapper"* Chromy, of Artists and Artisans) started submitting the proposal for Bible Camp Zombies, and I am going CRAZY. I know it's pretty unrealistic to think that a debut author will sell in two weeks, but I can't help myself. It's like I'm querying again. I check my email every couple of hours or so (even though I'm sure Adam would call me if he heard something), read everything I can about the publishing process, and generally annoy the crap out of my fiance, with questions like, "So, do you think there's an editor reading it right now? Do you think this fictional editor I made up in my mind likes it?" It's a wonder she hasn't stabbed me with the pieces of my broken laptop.

There is very little posted on the internet about this part of the publishing process. Probably because waiting is extremely boring. A very good friend (and my writing buddy/partner/whatever you want to call her - she's the one who tells me when what I've written sucks) sent me a link to another agent's blog (who shall remain nameless, as he gave a few of my friends form rejections**) about this, and there were hundreds of comments on what to do while waiting. 99.9% of them were completely useless. The .01% that were useful, were only useful to other people. I really don't think baking will help. Maybe eating baked goods. But that would require money on my part, since I don't bake. And I have to sell my project to get that.

Oh what a vicious circle. You were right, Abrasive Wheels***. You were right!

So, if any of you editors are reading this (and I don't delude myself that you actually are), hi! I'm really awesome and will make you tons of money. Just buy the project. You know you want to! Come on... all the cool editors are doing it. Tell you what - the first one's free****.

Now that that's over with - I'm going to be starting my next book soon. Fun, huh? Maybe I'll have a contest to have you guys help pick which one I'll do. (I have a vast list of ideas.) Or maybe I'll just see what you think and then do whatever I want anyhow. Whichever. I'll let you know.

For now, this is Richard A. Kray, saying...
Seacrest Out!

* I have no idea why his nickname is "Snapper". I haven't even speculated. Feel free to come to your own conclusions.

** Just kidding. It's Nathan Bransford. Here's a link: Nathan Bransford's blog (And I understand the form rejections - this guy gets more queries than... apparently I can't make analogies outside of MSWord, sorry, but it's a lot of queries.)

*** A prize to anyone who tells me what Abrasive Wheels is.

**** No it's not.